Category Archives: life

Gypsy Girl

I have to wonder as I’m driving up and down the bay, day after day, if this is it. Is this my career, sitting in a car forever? I mean, I can’t complain. I love the freedom. The pay is fantastic. I get to see new places and meet all kinds of new people. I can wear boots and jeans to work; I don’t have to dress up. I mean, sometimes it’d be nice, but most of the time I’m content. I have wonderful medical coverage and a 401K and… really, the benefits are what did me in. The family atmosphere is just a bonus. I haven’t had one day where I dreading coming to work.

I guess it feels mindless to me because driving is natural to me. I don’t think about my foot on the pedal, I just go. I stop. I maneuver. I’m really, really good at it and obviously am because I wouldn’t have this job if I were a terrible driver.

Wanderlust. I get wanderlust often. I grew up moving every 3 years, for the military and then just because. The longest I’ve ever lived in ONE home is in Okinawa as a kid, second longest was an adult living in Okinawa.

I’m starting to get the ‘itch’ again, to change, to do something new, and there’s nothing I can do. Literally, nothing. I work 40+ hours a week, I don’t sleep enough, I feel like I barely see my husband or kids, and man, it’s just straight up hard sometimes. I’m training for a half marathon. That takes a lot of time and a lot of patience- which is why I am doing it, to teach myself to be more patient.

I think once I am done with my half marathon and can go back to shorter distances regularly, then maybe I can do something else. School? Pick up where I left off and finish that little associate’s of liberal arts degree?. I have three classes left and would hate for all that time spent away from my kids to go to waste. I’m just… I’m not getting any younger! I am not old, but I’m 30! It’s time I just take the bull by the horns and DO something instead of waiting for someone else to get their shit together. I am spending my life waiting for someone else to be in control – and I can’t do that anymore. Clearly, that person doesn’t want to be in control, so it’ll be me.

(That may also have been a vague bitching.)


Now what?

About a month ago I hit 140 pounds. I went on vacation with my husband, our two daughters, my mother-in-law, and my sister and brother-in-law’s three kids. I gained about 4 pounds on vacation, probably from not drinking enough water, eating a lot, eating a lot of fast food (it’s what was there) and drinking. But it was vacation, it was fun, and within a couple days of being home I dropped all the water weight and was back to 140. I have steadily kept up with weight training and focused less on running and have stayed at 140 for over a month. 

I think I’m done with losing weight – pounds, that is. I am smaller than I ever imagined I could be. I remember one of my original goals being 175 pounds and a size 12. I reached that point and it was not good enough for me, so I kept going. I am a size 8 now and I think I am happy with where I am. I don’t think I would look healthy if I lost any more weight. 

So now, I suppose I focus on maintenance and weights. I am still quite jiggly in places I haven’t focused on (thighs, bum, belly) so I am working on that. I went to the gym the other night with a friend who used to be a competitive lifter and is a personal trainer. She worked me hard and we didn’t even “do” that much. I mean, I suppose we did do a lot, but overall I was surprised at how hard it was. She showed me a good core building exercise (pikes) and I was a little sore after that. But… the kicker was proper squats. We did over 100 squats total and now, two days later, I am feeling it the worst! Yesterday wasn’t so bad, but she said, “Just wait another day… you might find you are more sore!” She was absolutely corret. 

But it was fun and I know I need it. I know I still have weaknesses. For the first time in my adult life I am happy with my body, though. I am not obese or even overweight anymore. I can go shopping with ease! I don’t even glance at the plus size department anymore. 

Now that I’m at the end of the hardest part of the journey, it’s a good time to reflect. The changes are not only physical, they are mental. I like what I see in the mirror. Sure, some days I feel fat and bloated and dislike myself but that’s probably 2-3 days out of the month and you can all guess when that is :/. For the first time in our marriage of nearly 9 years, I am smaller than my husband not only in body size but weight. When we got married, I weighed about 175 pounds. He was a very muscular 125-130 pounds. Now he is about 160 pounds and I weigh 140. It’s crazy. I was never able to fit in to his military uniforms, but now I can – and he can’t button them! 😛 It’s adorable how proud of me he is. He always tells people he meets how beautiful I am and how much weight I have lost. For the first time in my life I really feel pretty, most of the time. Other people have taken notice too and frankly, I like it. The attention is nice.  🙂 

So now, I just have to work on my muscles. My arms are looking fantastic (seriously, I flexed yesterday and was actually shocked at the progress I’ve made in two months) and I am starting to see a little definition in my upper belly, but my middle area really needs hard work and I am determined to make it good. I may not ever be able to wear a bikini again and I’m ok with that, but I will work hard to at least TRY to wear one again ;). 


Almost there…

I don’t know how long it will take, now, but I’m very close to my goal.

I originally started at: 230 pounds

At my 6 month mark, I weighed: 210 pounds (I had not yet started exercising).

I began exercising on November 17, 2011. I remember that day because it seems like a switch turned off (or on?) in my head. I had to do it, I did it, and I still am doing it!

I didn’t weigh myself that day, but I will guess I still weighed about 210 pounds. I now weigh…

159 pounds!

Really, I didn’t expect to get under 200 so easily. Then I passed under 200 and suddenly, losing weight and exercising seemed a lot less daunting! I am finally at a normal weight! I would still like to be about 10 pounds lighter, but I am not stressing over it happening soon. I noticed the weight loss has slowed down, but I have also stopped tracking every single calorie I take in. I may start doing it again just to see if I’m overestimating what I am eating. I’m not losing 1+ pound every week now, so losing 1 every other week or more seems a lot different. However, I’m still losing :).

The difference in my body is unbelievable – to me. I still don’t have a great tummy, but I work on it, and it shows. It’s just not something I will show to strangers! My legs are muscular and pretty defined, my arms – oh my goodness – they are very toned.

Know what’s really cool? Being able to see my collar bones again!

My only issue is that it seems like I get cold very easily now. I can’t go in the refrigerated sections of the grocery store without feeling like I’m going to freeze. I have to relearn how to dress for winter! I take my daughters to ice skating lessons, indoors, and yesterday I wore two jackets. Granted, I was wearing thin workout pants because all of my jeans were in the dryer. Two jackets, though, and I was still cold.

Now, my breakfast has settled, so it’s time to go do a warming-up stretch, hit the gym for weights, and go RUN! If you don’t think you can do it, just try anyway! Start slow, but do something! Your body will thank you for it :). If I can do it… anyone can.

Acceptance of not being…

I almost feel bad now when I say I used to be fat. 

I mean, technically, by America’s standards, I’m a “plus” size. Well, bordering on it. I am a 10/12, depending on the brand. 

But I’m not fat anymore. 

I’m not. I have lost 60 pounds. I have gone from a size 20 (omg, wtf? how was I EVER that size?) to a 10/12.

People ask me what my “secret” is. I have to laugh. Really. There isn’t a secret. There is no magic pill, drop, shot, food (ok, maybe a little), or anything. 

I eat within a certain amount of calories per day. I try really hard not to go overboard on carbs. I don’t eat candy very often (maybe once a month). I haven’t had a soda since February. I drink a LOT of water every day. I stay active. I exercise 4-5 days a week. 

See? No secret. I do what one should do. I take care of myself. No excuses. Although, this week, it’s been difficult – the kids have been at home since they are on summer break, and the hubby is working for his parents, which means some late nights. It’s okay. I’ll persevere. 

But now, there’s a new challenge. Yes, I still want to lose about 15 more pounds. I don’t see that being too difficult. The challenge is accepting that I am not fat anymore. The challenge is that yes, I am a normal weight again. I’m finally beginning to see the “thin” me in the mirror, instead of still seeing the fat girl from before. 

I have learned that it is OKAY if I don’t exercise every. single. day. If I don’t do an intense work out even every other day. It is okay to be in pain and not go work out once in a while. I went to the gym the other day. My right hip has been acting up for a few weeks, but I usually just power through it. For some reason, the other day, my hip was being extra grumpy. I ran a half a mile on the treadmill (and by ran I mean jogged and limped and inwardly whined), and gave up. I stepped on the elliptical and did a little over a mile on it. Well, that felt good. 

I don’t usually drink. Ever, really, because I feel like it’s empty calories. My hubby made me a nice cold mango margarita yesterday and I drank it. ALL of it. It was really good. And I didn’t even feel guilty. I felt a little silly, haha. Granted, it won’t be a regular thing.. but I’ve accepted that it’s okay to eat or drink something bad for you – once in a while. I wouldn’t say “delicious” – because I eat a LOT of delicious food that is healthy, all the time! 😉 

Yesterday I went dress shopping for my high school reunion. I scored a really pretty, casual dress for $20 from Nordstrom rack. In a size M. And it fits great. I look great in it. It’s amazing that I am finally, FINALLY accepting the new me. I finally see the new me instead of the old me. 🙂 

Today my goals are to drink more water (I haven’t been drinking enough the past few days – must drink more!) and exercise when the husband gets home from work. 

Six months, how are you?

I have done it, I have made it six months. 

I started last summer with: 230 pounds. Size 20. 

I started exercising with: 210 pounds, size 18 or 16 (?) 

I am now: 175 pounds, size 12. 

I can run an 11 minute mile. 

I ran my first 5k on May 5th: 3.4 miles in 37 minutes. As I crossed that finish line, I felt like I finally succeeded. I finally did something that I put my mind to. 

I am – well, I’m on hold for it –  training for a half-marathon. I injured my hip (ball joint) somehow last week, so I’m taking it easy and exercising lightly. I will get back to running as soon as possible.

I have more definition in my arms than I have had in years. 

I am the same weight and size pants I was when my husband and I married in 2004. 

I am:
In school full time, two kids, married, kids have lots of activities, and guess what? I still found the time, 4-5 days a week, to exercise. I found the time to grocery shop for healthy foods. I found the self-control to choose good food if I ate out. I am living proof that it can be done. 

Now, this week has been weird. I am used to cardio and a little bit of weights. This week, because I am taking it easy, I am focusing more on weights/strength training and less on cardio (running). So I feel like I am not doing much, even though I am actually accomplishing quite a bit. 

So I spent my six month exercise-versary injured, hobbling around with sore thighs from squats and burpees and a sore hip. I am taking ibuprofen. I’m trying so hard to get better and hold off on running so I don’t reinjure myself. It’s very difficult going from walking and running frequently to sitting, or laying with my leg propped up. Funny, six months ago I couldn’t fathom exercising as much as I do now. 

Next week, my family and I are going on a mini vacation – nothing far, it’s just an hour down the road, but my lovely mother in law has been looking at trails we can walk/jog/run, and they offer a guided hike! 

In October, myself, my husband, and his mom are running a 5k together. I plan to run a half-marathon by the end of the year. 

Life is good – exercise is good – being fit is AMAZING. Never stop trying to better yourself. But do it for you, and no one else. 

A month and more weight is gone.

I keep forgetting to post. Or, I’l start to post, realize how long-winded I have gotten, and delete the entire thing. So, perhaps bullet points will help me stay on track! 😉 

  • Since my last post I am up to 45 pounds lost! 
  • I can now wear a size 14 quite comfortably. 
  • I have been pronounced the winner of the weight loss challenge that was proposed by my motherinlaw. I am the only one who stuck to a lifestyle change. Instead of a 20 I wear a 14, instead of being in the OBESE BMI category I am now in the OVERWEIGHT BMI category. Amazing! 
  • My new goal for this upcoming month is to work hard on my core. I have been doing it here and there with some pretty good results, but it isn’t quite good enough for me. I did absolutely nothing after two children to improve it, so now I must work extra hard to get it back and KEEP it! 
  • I would really love to be in the HEALTHY BMI range by the end of the year. That’s about 160 pounds. I am positive I can do it! Only 25 pounds to go! 
  • That would put me at about a size 10!
  • WHEN I reach my goal of 160 pounds, that will be 70 pounds that I have lost! I am SO sure that I can do it! 
  • I am running a 5k in April. Not sure where or what day, but I will do it. 

That’s about all I can think of. Yay! 

Healthier, happier… ME!

The school semester has begun and I am a busy bee! However, I am MAKING time to go to the gym! I am still seeing great weight loss progress and feeling so much better about myself in general.

As of the 28th, I have lost 35 pounds! Yay! I am so proud of myself :). The best feeling is when my husband tells me I’m disappearing ;). When I lost 15 more pounds I will be shouting for joy. I nearly did so the other day. I decided to get on the scale after hitting the gym. I had not planned on going to the gym but forced myself to. I was pleasantly surprised to see the number was four pounds lower than it was two weeks ago! I did not expect it at all. I was jumping up and down happy!

I am also proud to say I can run on the treadmill now! My shin is getting used to it, and I think the more weight I lose, the less impact on my shins there will be.

I have actually “cut down” on the gym – I go every other day instead of every day. I am so busy with school and the kids that sometimes I either can’t go to the gym, or I am just too tired. Plus my husband has a late class one day out of the week, so I can’t go then. It’s okay. Adapt, overcome, excel!


I first heard of Crossfit when I lived overseas in Okinawa. I thought it was some workout program centered around religion (way to assume!). Not that I have an issue with religion, but I much prefer working out with God in my own mind, not with others.

Over the last couple of months I have visited and revisited the website for a Crossfit gym located a few miles from me. I sigh when I look at the price, but I have come to realize:

I would be receiving 1:1 training.

I would be challenged.

I would meet new people (aka friends, of which I have none here…).

Best of all, I would get in wonderful fit shape. I can run to my heart’s content. I can walk for miles. I can do planks, I can do situps, I can do pushups, but I lack the core strength and quite frankly, I lack the attitude that would force me to strengthen my core. I have poor posture, due to weak lower abdominal muscles and back muscles (thank you, pregnancies; thank you self, for not trying to stay in shape).

I have seen the before and after of people I KNOW personally. I realize it’s a lifestyle change. I realize that on top of 16 credits (5 classes) of homework, I will be working my tail off to be in better shape.

$100 a month doesn’t sound like a lot to many people. In the grand scheme of life, it isn’t. I/we can afford this. I called the gym, left a message, and am hoping for a call back soon so I can figure out when I can go in for a free session. If I like it, then I plan to join the gym. I figure that even if I join only for a month, I will learn a lot from it.

However, it’s going to be interesting to convince the husband. He’s completely supportive of me and honestly I think he’s surprised I stuck with working out for this long. Believe me – I am too. I am just not feeling challenged at the gym anymore. I feel like I CAN do more, but I need to be pushed to do so. I have no one to go with. I have my friends who live on the East coast and while it’s very motivating and supportive, it isn’t quite like having a group of people to go with.

So, let’s see how this goes. I’m thinking I will LOVE it!


Almost TWO months!

I can’t believe it! I did it! I still enjoy working out and tomorrow is two months from when I began!

I remember when I started, I could not run very fast, even on the elliptical. Could not fathom ever going faster than a 12 minute mile. Just a couple of weeks ago, I beat that goal and I ran a mile in 7:45! Now that I know I can reach my goals in exercise, I have changed it up a bit. After a fast mile I am usually too shaky and tired to keep going, so, I have slowed down and go for longer periods of time. Instead of just 15 minutes (max) on the elliptical, treadmill, or bike, I spend at LEAST 25 minutes doing cardio! It does get boring, though. Today was a day where I just was not in to it. I had stretched nicely, lifted weights and performed lunges. I started on the elliptical, reading a book and working at a level 4 or 5, and got bored after five minutes. I went over to the treadmill. 5 minutes, I was bored again. I sighed and was frustrated because I had barely worked up a sweat! I didn’t want to go home, and I definitely didn’t want to skip my workout!

I decided the bike was the best bet since I don’t use it often. I then biked for 20 minutes; 4.33 miles, level 5 incline.  Afterwards, I was able to do two planks for thirty seconds each, which is SO great! I could barely hold a plank for 10 seconds just a couple of weeks ago :).

Another aspect that helped me keep going today was the mirror. In my apartment community’s gym, there is a floor-to-ceiling mirror on one wall. It is next to the bike. I noticed my legs are so toned now! My calves are more defined and my thighs… well, they need work, but they, too, are more toned! My arms are showing more definition!

Best of all? I tried on a pair of swim shorts I wore over the summer. They were snug over the summer. There is now about a two-three inch gap between my waist and the shorts now; I doubt I will be able to wear them this coming summer.

I am SO close to being in a size 14! I think I will be in a size 14 in about one more month, maybe six weeks.

I have changed my eating habits and it is not easy, but I know it will assist in the inches lost.

I am proud of myself for arriving at my goals and for the weight I have lost. To date I have lost 31 pounds since 4/28/2011. My youngest daughter is 29 pounds! That’s crazy! 🙂



Almost 7 (weeks) since I began:


I can do pushups now!

I can run a mile in 8:05, though I don’t expect that time every day. That is 9:44 off of my original time.

I can lift weights! I could before, but my arms are getting much stronger.

I can say I weigh 200 pounds instead of 227! I will be very very very ecstatic when I see 199! I seem to have plateaued, so…

Now I need to:

Learn to run on a treadmill without aggravating my left shin.

Get a pair of Vibrams (end of the month)

Work on “core” exercises, such as planks and squats. The rest of me is toning pretty nicely but I need to work on my belly – Pilates, perhaps? I know that is probably what is keeping my weight from dropping any more.

I have cut down on dairy intake because dairy tends to make me feel bloated and yucky. Trying really hard to have at LEAST one to two meat free meals per week while still incorporating protein.

My workout routine is still mostly cardio: one mile on the elliptical, one mile (or more) on the bike, then another on the elliptical. Breaking it up keeps me from getting bored. I have been lifting weights before working out and that seems to work better – I’m not jello-like before I run, only after!

Going to look in to Pilates and see if perhaps the gym my kids attend swim lessons at offers Pilates. 🙂