I have to wonder as I’m driving up and down the bay, day after day, if this is it. Is this my career, sitting in a car forever? I mean, I can’t complain. I love the freedom. The pay is fantastic. I get to see new places and meet all kinds of new people. I can wear boots and jeans to work; I don’t have to dress up. I mean, sometimes it’d be nice, but most of the time I’m content. I have wonderful medical coverage and a 401K and… really, the benefits are what did me in. The family atmosphere is just a bonus. I haven’t had one day where I dreading coming to work.
I guess it feels mindless to me because driving is natural to me. I don’t think about my foot on the pedal, I just go. I stop. I maneuver. I’m really, really good at it and obviously am because I wouldn’t have this job if I were a terrible driver.
Wanderlust. I get wanderlust often. I grew up moving every 3 years, for the military and then just because. The longest I’ve ever lived in ONE home is in Okinawa as a kid, second longest was an adult living in Okinawa.
I’m starting to get the ‘itch’ again, to change, to do something new, and there’s nothing I can do. Literally, nothing. I work 40+ hours a week, I don’t sleep enough, I feel like I barely see my husband or kids, and man, it’s just straight up hard sometimes. I’m training for a half marathon. That takes a lot of time and a lot of patience- which is why I am doing it, to teach myself to be more patient.
I think once I am done with my half marathon and can go back to shorter distances regularly, then maybe I can do something else. School? Pick up where I left off and finish that little associate’s of liberal arts degree?. I have three classes left and would hate for all that time spent away from my kids to go to waste. I’m just… I’m not getting any younger! I am not old, but I’m 30! It’s time I just take the bull by the horns and DO something instead of waiting for someone else to get their shit together. I am spending my life waiting for someone else to be in control – and I can’t do that anymore. Clearly, that person doesn’t want to be in control, so it’ll be me.
(That may also have been a vague bitching.)