Acceptance of not being…

I almost feel bad now when I say I used to be fat. 

I mean, technically, by America’s standards, I’m a “plus” size. Well, bordering on it. I am a 10/12, depending on the brand. 

But I’m not fat anymore. 

I’m not. I have lost 60 pounds. I have gone from a size 20 (omg, wtf? how was I EVER that size?) to a 10/12.

People ask me what my “secret” is. I have to laugh. Really. There isn’t a secret. There is no magic pill, drop, shot, food (ok, maybe a little), or anything. 

I eat within a certain amount of calories per day. I try really hard not to go overboard on carbs. I don’t eat candy very often (maybe once a month). I haven’t had a soda since February. I drink a LOT of water every day. I stay active. I exercise 4-5 days a week. 

See? No secret. I do what one should do. I take care of myself. No excuses. Although, this week, it’s been difficult – the kids have been at home since they are on summer break, and the hubby is working for his parents, which means some late nights. It’s okay. I’ll persevere. 

But now, there’s a new challenge. Yes, I still want to lose about 15 more pounds. I don’t see that being too difficult. The challenge is accepting that I am not fat anymore. The challenge is that yes, I am a normal weight again. I’m finally beginning to see the “thin” me in the mirror, instead of still seeing the fat girl from before. 

I have learned that it is OKAY if I don’t exercise every. single. day. If I don’t do an intense work out even every other day. It is okay to be in pain and not go work out once in a while. I went to the gym the other day. My right hip has been acting up for a few weeks, but I usually just power through it. For some reason, the other day, my hip was being extra grumpy. I ran a half a mile on the treadmill (and by ran I mean jogged and limped and inwardly whined), and gave up. I stepped on the elliptical and did a little over a mile on it. Well, that felt good. 

I don’t usually drink. Ever, really, because I feel like it’s empty calories. My hubby made me a nice cold mango margarita yesterday and I drank it. ALL of it. It was really good. And I didn’t even feel guilty. I felt a little silly, haha. Granted, it won’t be a regular thing.. but I’ve accepted that it’s okay to eat or drink something bad for you – once in a while. I wouldn’t say “delicious” – because I eat a LOT of delicious food that is healthy, all the time! 😉 

Yesterday I went dress shopping for my high school reunion. I scored a really pretty, casual dress for $20 from Nordstrom rack. In a size M. And it fits great. I look great in it. It’s amazing that I am finally, FINALLY accepting the new me. I finally see the new me instead of the old me. 🙂 

Today my goals are to drink more water (I haven’t been drinking enough the past few days – must drink more!) and exercise when the husband gets home from work. 

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One thought on “Acceptance of not being…

  1. yanushkah says:

    very nice enjoyed reading it…

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